Journey to the Self

My 10-Day Vipassana Meditation Retreat

"Know Thyself" – But How??

We live in a world that constantly tells us who to be. Ads whisper, "Buy this, become that." Social media screams "Look like this, act like that." Even our own minds replay old tapes: "You should be different."

So how do we truly know ourselves beneath all this noise? 

- Study? That’s learning about others. 

- Exercise? It helps but doesn’t reveal the self. 

- Meditation? Yes—but which kind?

After years of searching (and more than a few reckless detours), I stumbled upon Vipassana—an ancient meditation technique that doesn’t just calm the mind, but dissects it. 

No gurus. No mantras. Just raw, unfiltered self-observation. 

And so, with a mix of curiosity and dread, I signed up for 10 days of silence at the Vipassana Meditation Center in Montebello, Quebec.   

The Shock of Radical Simplicity

"Wait… This Is Free?" 

The first surprise? No price tag. The entire course—food, lodging, teaching—runs on donations from past students. No upselling. No hidden fees. Just a simple rule: "If this helps you, pay it forward."

I arrived expecting austerity. Instead, I found: 

- Spotless dormitories (curtained cubicles in a converted sports arena) 

- Hearty vegetarian meals (buffet-style, with enough variety to satisfy even a skeptical carnivore) 

- A strict but compassionate schedule (4 AM wake-up gongs, 10+ hours of daily meditation) 

The catch? No talking. No eye contact. No phones. No writing. Just you, your breath, and the monster in your mind. 

The Technique: Scanning the Inner Storm 

Vipassana, in essence, is body scanning—but not the relaxing spa kind. You train yourself to observe physical sensations without reacting. 

- Day 1-3: Focus on the breath. (Simple? Try sitting still for an hour.) 

- Day 4-10: Scan the body, inch by inch, noticing tingles, aches, numbness—without moving.

The goal? To realize: Everything rises. Everything passes. Even pain. Even joy. Even you. 

"Why Am I Feeling My Elbow Like This?"

By Day 5, my mind was a warzone: 

- Boredom ("This is pointless.") 

- Agony ("My back is breaking.") 

- Epiphanies ("Oh. I’ve been running from this feeling for years.") 

And then—breakthrough. A moment when the mental chatter stopped, and I was just the breath. Just the pulse. Just awareness itself. 

The Characters in the Silence 

Despite the vow of silence, personalities emerged: 

- The Charles Manson Lookalike (Turns out, he was super friendly.) 

- The Loud Chinese Monk (Snored like a chainsaw.) 

- The Guy Who Cried on Day 7 (We all felt it. We all understood.) 

In the dining hall, we communicated in nods and spoon-clinks. By Day 10, when speech returned, it felt almost sacrilegious to break the quiet. 

The Aftermath: A Quiet Revolution

I left with: 

✅ No need for sugar, alcohol, or drugs (Not by willpower—just disinterest.) 

✅ A daily meditation habit (2 hours, no excuses.) 

✅ Something deeper than "peace”: equanimity. 

The world hadn’t changed. I had. Traffic jams? Observe the irritation. Office drama? Scan the tension. Even joy became something to witness, not cling to. 

The Hardest (and Best) Thing I’ve Ever Done

Would I Recommend It?

Yes—if you’re ready. This isn’t a wellness retreat. It’s non-intrusive mental surgery. 

The Cost?

Nothing. (But you’ll want to donate.) 

The Reward?

Yourself. Stripped of stories. Unshaken by storms. 

Final Thought

"The mind is a wild river. Vipassana doesn’t stop the flow—it teaches you to sit on the bank and watch."

May all beings be happy.

— RAH 

P.S. For the brave: [Vipassana Center](https://www.dhamma.org/) | [Goenka’s Discourses](https://www.youtube.com/user/VipassanaOrg) | [My Full 10-Day Journal](link)